Monday, 9 November 2009

Tom's visit :-)

So Tom arrived on Saturday afternoon and is just eating some breakfast before he goes back to Bystock Court, his home, today. It's the first time Tom's been up to stay with me in over a decade. I asked him a fair bit but he always said, "I'm busy that day" before I'd even suggested dates.

It was a very busy weekend, culminating in a dinner with a lady who has raised a fair chunk of our backing so far; she is a rather international and glamorous type and, Tom, Mum, she and I went for a curry in Battersea last night. Tom was an absolute charmer, in as much as he was so happy, enthusiastic and pleased to be having this grown up dinner about important things, and to be included in it.

As we talked, including Tom as often as possible, instead of doing what is sometimes very easy, and just babbling on at our own pace, I watched Tom contribute and engage in a way that only happens if you give him the time of day. He will never interject or monopolise the conversation like I can, will, constantly do.

Earlier in the day him and I had left my nephew's birthday party in order to look after our tiny little grizzly niece. Tom is so sweet and gentle with her, I'd plonk her down on his lap and come back to find him dangling keys or stroking her arm. Sometimes we leave Tom out of the 'grown up' things like childcare and decision making. This trip is about concertedly NOT doing that any more; it's about a trip among equals, an adventure that is inclusive of everyone's needs. I know that we will find that if we let go and let this happen great new opportunities and understanding and love will unfold.

Dad bought a bunch of fantastic photos to London with him, which I will scan in a post up later today.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"an adventure that is inclusive of everyone's needs." Perfick.